[ Yingxing wastes no time in sending another reply.
He makes his way to who knows where the Imbibator Lunae stays, blending in with the shadows to avoid arousing suspicions as he picks up the pace. For a lowly craftsman, he is quite skilled with making as little noise as possible, heading down a path well-known to be the quickest way to where the High Elder's quarters lie. It's a path that both of them have mapped out for their indulgent whims alone.
It helps him get to where he wants to be the most as soon as possible.
He takes care not to get spotted once he's reached the east entrance. It's a waiting game now that he's made it onto the hallway, watching carefully as the guards round the corner, affording him with the opening he's been waiting for.
As soon as he makes it to the door, he closes it behind him with a soft click.
He doesn't say a word as he approaches his beloved, arms pulling Dan Feng into a warm embrace. ]
I'm sorry I made you wait.
[ Hushed apologies, but they carry more weight than that. ]
( time is meaningless for long-lived species, and yet here, dan feng learns its weight. he waits, and waits, and waits, what feels an eternity. his heart weighs, and weighs, and weighs, heavier by the second, and dan feng, who is always sure of his feelings and does not deviate from his desires, feels inadequate about it. he has experienced new feelings ever since yingxing became ever so close to him. intense love, soul-crushing sadness, heartbreak that would certainly last an incarnation or two.
that weight does not ease with the hug. it hurts more, he finds. a throwaway, teasing question that had been his downfall. the impossible wish for a world where yingxing lives to see his first, second, third century. the awareness that he could make this happen. that he could be a selfish man who cannot bear to be apart from his beloved. that he would go against the entirety of the xianzhou for a man who is not even a native.
he could do it. sometimes, especially at times like this— sometimes, the thought seems utterly tempting. )
I don't forgive you. ( he does. dan feng always does.
yingxing is warm, and smells the way he remembers. comforting. warm. his arms are tight around his body, and he buries his face on his beloved's shoulder. the wait was painful. being apart from him, even more so. ) How will you make up to me, Yingxing?
[ On the flip side, time will always carry a heavy weight to a short-life species like Yingxing. His time in this world is limited, after all, not unlike those who are native to the Xianzhou. It's a thought that never escapes his mind, surrounded as he is by those who will live many hundreds of years after him— a fascinating concept that often makes him wonder what if?
What if he can live just as long as the rest of them? What if time becomes an inconsequential concept to him, given how many years he'll have left in his life? What if he was born as a Xianzhou local rather than one who came here after he escaped from imminent death?
A part of him wants to laugh, bitterly. The noise is caught in his throat. He doesn't allow it to escape. Such thoughts are dangerous, he knows. Dangerous because of how poisonous they could be, staining his mind with the could have's and should have's. A greedy man will always want what he can't have, so...
He holds Dan Feng even closer to him, tightening his grip. ]
I'll make it up to you for the rest of my life if I must. [ A beat, followed by a soft kiss pressed against silky hair. He does it again, and again. ] I'm sorry.
[ He could be doing more to show that he means this, but sometimes, the simplest acts of affirmation are more than enough. Sometimes, all he wants to do is hold onto Dan Feng in way that tells him that he'll never let go. ]
( always so giving, yingxing spoils him so. many others would, too. as yinyue-jun, there are many vidyahara who would travel miles for their high elder. many who would steal the moon if they could, many who would slice themselves open to show their dedication and faith. dan feng is not a man unfamiliar with devotion. but this? this is more. this is love, he knows. love in a way he hasn't experienced before.
he melts into the touch, as though being next to yingxing could heal the wound in his heart. it hurts in all the ways it soothes the pain of separation, and dan feng gives in to the feeling. yingxing is here, at least. for now, he is. they can still touch each other, hug each other, hear each other's voices. )
Don't say such a thing again, ( is what he eventually says, dan feng's materialized tail snaking around yingxing's leg to keep him in place. ) Promise me, Yingxing. That no matter the world or lifetime, we will be together.
( it is a childish request, he knows. but if he does not have yingxing in every way or form, in every lifetime, in every world, then what guarantee does dan feng have that he will ever experience the same joy and love he does in this lifetime? )
[ It's so easy for Yingxing to understand the concept of impermanence. After all, his mortality is an intricate part of his whole existence as the only short-life species amongst the High-Cloud Quintet. They never saw it as a disadvantage, and neither did Yingxing, but that doesn't mean that it was never on the back of his mind. It lingers with him no matter how much he tries to convince himself that it's alright, because now he has a reason to ask for more. To be exceedingly selfish. To be greedy.
All because he's fallen in love with the High Elder of the Vidyahara.
Growing up, he's always been fond of the stories about the red strings of fate. They say that your soulmate will be waiting for you at the other end, and because the High-Cloud Quintet inevitably became the people most important to him, he made them all wear ribbons of red fabric to signify the same thing. So that when he's gone, they'll always have a piece of him no matter where they go.
Dan Feng makes him wish for things to be different. For him to have been born as a Xianzhou local so that he has more than just pretty promises to give his beloved.
Alas, all he can do is hold Dan Feng tighter, closer to him. His words are sincere while he speaks. ]
No matter what happens, Dan Feng... I will find you. There's no one else I'd rather be with than you.
( lying is so very easy. it is not that one must be good at it, but only that some are too sincere, and cannot forge good lies. he does not think yingxing is someone who would be dishonest, or insincere, or speak to him words he does not mean. it is simply the nature of what they have, and the discrepancy between their lifespan. dan feng has seen centuries, will see many more. by yingxing's eighth decade, he'll still already be old. fragile. weak, even.
even though he's so young.
dan feng pulls back, just enough that he can admire yingxing's face. a beautiful man no matter how many years pass, no matter what war does to his youth. his fingers are ever so careful as he cups his lover's cheeks, the sharp ends of his nails just barely grazing skin. loathe would he be to harm perfection. )
If you don't, I will chase you across the universe. You're not allowed to be free of me.
[ Perhaps he only has a few more decades left, barely a blip in the High Elder's entire lifespan, but even still, Yingxing wishes that he is able to leave a meaningful impact in Dan Feng's life. Perhaps that is greedy of him, cruelly selfish, and yet with every indulgence from the other, he's certain that Dan Feng wouldn't mind.
His head turns to plant a soft kiss against the palm that frames his cheeks, soft and sweet. ]
No— the you who burns more brilliantly than I do shouldn't be the one to chase after me. It's only fair that I should be the one. [ Gently, he mirrors what Dan Feng is doing, cupping the side of his beloved's face. His head leans against his, a soft smile on his lips. ] I'll chase you across a hundred lifetimes until I find the one where you'll return to me.
( so kind. so charming, and sincere, and honest. yingxing holds him like porcelain, while the preceptors shape him like a blade. dan feng has softened throughout the years. escaped from right under their noses, disobeyed more orders than he can count. built his own person. become more than simply yinyue-jun. all thanks to yingxing. all because of him. all for him.
he loves him so much. dan feng isn't familiar with love, as it is, as it comes to other people more naturally. but the way his chest tightens, the way he melts under yingxing's touch. this, he knows, is the most sincere form of love. and who has ever heard of a high elder being so smitten before? )
Promise me, then. ( dan feng needs not beg, when his eyes already say it all. please, don't leave me. ) That in my next incarnation, and in your next life, you will find me, and be mine again.
[ They always say that the love between a long-life and a short-life species is tragic, if only because it isn't one that can last forever. Soon enough, time will take away the one who can't live for centuries, leaving the other behind to yearn for their presence once more. Yingxing knows that this is what awaits them when it's his time to go, but he can't help but love Dan Feng even more so.
He can't imagine a life where they aren't together, so when he kisses him again, he prays that the gods will allow them to find each other once more. And if they don't, then he won't stop until they're together again. ]
I promise. I promise you that we will be together, no matter what. I'm all yours for eternity.
( with each touch, his skin burns in the most satisfying way, as though a warmth dan feng had long been searching for. he squirms, sighs, groans and moans each and every time, but it's truly only when he hears his name out of jing yuan's voice, with jing yuan's voice, that reality settles in. that this, all of this, is being done to him, not to the entity known as yinyue-jun. that he is the one being desired, and touched, and wanted, and he finds that jing yuan doesn't really need to touch him to make his body burn.
he shakes his head, however, and does not offer a response just yet. what he does, instead, is: take jing yuan's handsome face between careful hands, sit them back up, and bring their lips together. a careful, measured, but equally wanting kiss, one he could only hope would translate his affections well. )
Let me touch you first. ( another kiss, on the corner of his mouth. ) Let me mark you, so I know you're not here just to indulge me.
( what an ironic tool to bring upon the xianzhou, he thinks. it's not as though death itself is unfamiliar to the races aboard the hexafleet. xianzhou natives die — if they're lucky, before the mara consumes them. foxians die — their memories sent away on starskiffs, a ceremony of remembrance. vidyadhara—
vidyadhara die as well. they may be blessed with permanence, a heritage born from being long's scions, but there's a stark difference between being long-lived, and being immortal. death is not unfamiliar to them, but it is much more haunting. enough of it, and their entire race could be gone, in the blink of an eye, in the beat of a heart.
at most, they could simply not be entirely familiar with how to truly treat death, or what comes with it. the foxians pay their respects. outworlders... )
Is it an Outworld custom to bring along the deceased in their travels?
( though the tone of his voice remains unchanged, dan feng's eyes surely show the slight judgment in the idea. y'all just live like this...? )
[The judgment sure is plain in those eyes, even if the rest of his expression remains neutral. Hardly the most pronounced reaction Luocha has ever gotten, to explaining the matter of his coffin to the uninitiated--but it's interesting to observe all the same. This, too, is received without a waver in the faint amusement of his own bearing; if anything, at the question, Luocha's smile widens slightly.]
Mm, vast as the universe happens to be, I've no doubt there are likely at least a handful of civilizations that actually do abide by such a practice with their deceased. --I do not hail from such a place myself, however. Rather, this is part of a business matter...I have been tasked with the safe delivery of these remains.
Though the time has not yet been quite right...and so, I am waiting until it is. This is hardly the worst sort of place to pass a few days, anyhow--and this coffin does draw attention in quite a beneficial sort of way...
( the safe delivery of the deceased. what an odd job. some would find similarities to foxian's customs; luocha would be the starskiff, traveling world upon world until he finds the appropriate one, or the assigned one. yet dan feng can't help but find the irony of bringing such a tool upon the fleet cursed with abundance. if the matter of a 'coffin' were to make itself public, if the natives heard of luocha's penchant to being side by side with death itself, he wonders — would some assume he could bring death upon them, as well? would the alchemy commission look at him with disdain? would the ten-lords?
dan feng exhales, long and heavy. what an unusual outworlder. )
And what does this 'delivery' entail? Are you searching for a person, or a place to part with the coffin?
( a conscious pause, and then: )
A place cursed with Abundance as the Xianzhou would never be a good fit for it.
Ah, neither--in terms of "searching". [Not that Dan Feng could be blamed for that phrasing, loosely as Luocha had just described the state of this particular little ongoing contract. A small apologetic nod accompanies this clarification.] The destination as requested is in fact the Xianzhou, and I already know the identity of the client as well. Now, it is simply a matter of waiting...they're quite particular about the time and place, and once I receive word from them I'll be able to finalize the process. But only then, which means I've had some downtime in the interim...
[Which ought to explain the idle wandering around cleanly enough, at the least. If not, perhaps, why he needs to take the coffin with him even during those wanderings...but, sometimes it's better to leave those little gaps unclarified, so that the onus falls on the latter party to ask after them. Most people don't tend to get around to it anyhow, Luocha's found--especially when they're gently diverted in other ways. Sometimes a perfect opportunity for diversion even arrives on its own, as it now does here; Dan Feng's remark is quite an interesting one, after all...]
It is a little ironic, though, is it not? That someone would want to bring an article of death to a place like this. Most everyone associates the Abundance with life that ever lasts, after all...a domain where death is simply prohibited from arriving. What use is a coffin to have, then, where its purpose is unbidden? [Here, an idly thoughtful tilt of his head, tone light as if he were speculating upon how the weather might be in a few days and not in fact saying...well:] Hmm. Resurrection, perhaps? Alas, though, I've never heard any tales of Yaoshi reaching into that particular abyss...they merely only ever fence it away with their blessings before one can fall in, after all.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@sparse
Take the east entrance today. They have one less person on patrol.
( and as usual, the door will be ajar. )
no subject
He makes his way to who knows where the Imbibator Lunae stays, blending in with the shadows to avoid arousing suspicions as he picks up the pace. For a lowly craftsman, he is quite skilled with making as little noise as possible, heading down a path well-known to be the quickest way to where the High Elder's quarters lie. It's a path that both of them have mapped out for their indulgent whims alone.
It helps him get to where he wants to be the most as soon as possible.
He takes care not to get spotted once he's reached the east entrance. It's a waiting game now that he's made it onto the hallway, watching carefully as the guards round the corner, affording him with the opening he's been waiting for.
As soon as he makes it to the door, he closes it behind him with a soft click.
He doesn't say a word as he approaches his beloved, arms pulling Dan Feng into a warm embrace. ]
I'm sorry I made you wait.
[ Hushed apologies, but they carry more weight than that. ]
schrodinger's yyj residence...
that weight does not ease with the hug. it hurts more, he finds. a throwaway, teasing question that had been his downfall. the impossible wish for a world where yingxing lives to see his first, second, third century. the awareness that he could make this happen. that he could be a selfish man who cannot bear to be apart from his beloved. that he would go against the entirety of the xianzhou for a man who is not even a native.
he could do it. sometimes, especially at times like this— sometimes, the thought seems utterly tempting. )
I don't forgive you. ( he does. dan feng always does.
yingxing is warm, and smells the way he remembers. comforting. warm. his arms are tight around his body, and he buries his face on his beloved's shoulder. the wait was painful. being apart from him, even more so. ) How will you make up to me, Yingxing?
where does he live... the question of the hour
What if he can live just as long as the rest of them? What if time becomes an inconsequential concept to him, given how many years he'll have left in his life? What if he was born as a Xianzhou local rather than one who came here after he escaped from imminent death?
A part of him wants to laugh, bitterly. The noise is caught in his throat. He doesn't allow it to escape. Such thoughts are dangerous, he knows. Dangerous because of how poisonous they could be, staining his mind with the could have's and should have's. A greedy man will always want what he can't have, so...
He holds Dan Feng even closer to him, tightening his grip. ]
I'll make it up to you for the rest of my life if I must. [ A beat, followed by a soft kiss pressed against silky hair. He does it again, and again. ] I'm sorry.
[ He could be doing more to show that he means this, but sometimes, the simplest acts of affirmation are more than enough. Sometimes, all he wants to do is hold onto Dan Feng in way that tells him that he'll never let go. ]
no subject
he melts into the touch, as though being next to yingxing could heal the wound in his heart. it hurts in all the ways it soothes the pain of separation, and dan feng gives in to the feeling. yingxing is here, at least. for now, he is. they can still touch each other, hug each other, hear each other's voices. )
Don't say such a thing again, ( is what he eventually says, dan feng's materialized tail snaking around yingxing's leg to keep him in place. ) Promise me, Yingxing. That no matter the world or lifetime, we will be together.
( it is a childish request, he knows. but if he does not have yingxing in every way or form, in every lifetime, in every world, then what guarantee does dan feng have that he will ever experience the same joy and love he does in this lifetime? )
no subject
All because he's fallen in love with the High Elder of the Vidyahara.
Growing up, he's always been fond of the stories about the red strings of fate. They say that your soulmate will be waiting for you at the other end, and because the High-Cloud Quintet inevitably became the people most important to him, he made them all wear ribbons of red fabric to signify the same thing. So that when he's gone, they'll always have a piece of him no matter where they go.
Dan Feng makes him wish for things to be different. For him to have been born as a Xianzhou local so that he has more than just pretty promises to give his beloved.
Alas, all he can do is hold Dan Feng tighter, closer to him. His words are sincere while he speaks. ]
No matter what happens, Dan Feng... I will find you. There's no one else I'd rather be with than you.
no subject
even though he's so young.
dan feng pulls back, just enough that he can admire yingxing's face. a beautiful man no matter how many years pass, no matter what war does to his youth. his fingers are ever so careful as he cups his lover's cheeks, the sharp ends of his nails just barely grazing skin. loathe would he be to harm perfection. )
If you don't, I will chase you across the universe. You're not allowed to be free of me.
can't believe you gave me this opening
His head turns to plant a soft kiss against the palm that frames his cheeks, soft and sweet. ]
No— the you who burns more brilliantly than I do shouldn't be the one to chase after me. It's only fair that I should be the one. [ Gently, he mirrors what Dan Feng is doing, cupping the side of his beloved's face. His head leans against his, a soft smile on his lips. ] I'll chase you across a hundred lifetimes until I find the one where you'll return to me.
[ This, he swears; for all of eternity. ]
implying i didn't do it on purpose :\
he loves him so much. dan feng isn't familiar with love, as it is, as it comes to other people more naturally. but the way his chest tightens, the way he melts under yingxing's touch. this, he knows, is the most sincere form of love. and who has ever heard of a high elder being so smitten before? )
Promise me, then. ( dan feng needs not beg, when his eyes already say it all. please, don't leave me. ) That in my next incarnation, and in your next life, you will find me, and be mine again.
25 lives.... weh
He can't imagine a life where they aren't together, so when he kisses him again, he prays that the gods will allow them to find each other once more. And if they don't, then he won't stop until they're together again. ]
I promise. I promise you that we will be together, no matter what. I'm all yours for eternity.
[ And he'll seal that with another kiss. ]
@unclouded
( with each touch, his skin burns in the most satisfying way, as though a warmth dan feng had long been searching for. he squirms, sighs, groans and moans each and every time, but it's truly only when he hears his name out of jing yuan's voice, with jing yuan's voice, that reality settles in. that this, all of this, is being done to him, not to the entity known as yinyue-jun. that he is the one being desired, and touched, and wanted, and he finds that jing yuan doesn't really need to touch him to make his body burn.
he shakes his head, however, and does not offer a response just yet. what he does, instead, is: take jing yuan's handsome face between careful hands, sit them back up, and bring their lips together. a careful, measured, but equally wanting kiss, one he could only hope would translate his affections well. )
Let me touch you first. ( another kiss, on the corner of his mouth. ) Let me mark you, so I know you're not here just to indulge me.
@casketeer
( what an ironic tool to bring upon the xianzhou, he thinks. it's not as though death itself is unfamiliar to the races aboard the hexafleet. xianzhou natives die — if they're lucky, before the mara consumes them. foxians die — their memories sent away on starskiffs, a ceremony of remembrance. vidyadhara—
vidyadhara die as well. they may be blessed with permanence, a heritage born from being long's scions, but there's a stark difference between being long-lived, and being immortal. death is not unfamiliar to them, but it is much more haunting. enough of it, and their entire race could be gone, in the blink of an eye, in the beat of a heart.
at most, they could simply not be entirely familiar with how to truly treat death, or what comes with it. the foxians pay their respects. outworlders... )
Is it an Outworld custom to bring along the deceased in their travels?
( though the tone of his voice remains unchanged, dan feng's eyes surely show the slight judgment in the idea. y'all just live like this...? )
no subject
Mm, vast as the universe happens to be, I've no doubt there are likely at least a handful of civilizations that actually do abide by such a practice with their deceased. --I do not hail from such a place myself, however. Rather, this is part of a business matter...I have been tasked with the safe delivery of these remains.
Though the time has not yet been quite right...and so, I am waiting until it is. This is hardly the worst sort of place to pass a few days, anyhow--and this coffin does draw attention in quite a beneficial sort of way...
no subject
dan feng exhales, long and heavy. what an unusual outworlder. )
And what does this 'delivery' entail? Are you searching for a person, or a place to part with the coffin?
( a conscious pause, and then: )
A place cursed with Abundance as the Xianzhou would never be a good fit for it.
no subject
[Which ought to explain the idle wandering around cleanly enough, at the least. If not, perhaps, why he needs to take the coffin with him even during those wanderings...but, sometimes it's better to leave those little gaps unclarified, so that the onus falls on the latter party to ask after them. Most people don't tend to get around to it anyhow, Luocha's found--especially when they're gently diverted in other ways. Sometimes a perfect opportunity for diversion even arrives on its own, as it now does here; Dan Feng's remark is quite an interesting one, after all...]
It is a little ironic, though, is it not? That someone would want to bring an article of death to a place like this. Most everyone associates the Abundance with life that ever lasts, after all...a domain where death is simply prohibited from arriving. What use is a coffin to have, then, where its purpose is unbidden? [Here, an idly thoughtful tilt of his head, tone light as if he were speculating upon how the weather might be in a few days and not in fact saying...well:] Hmm. Resurrection, perhaps? Alas, though, I've never heard any tales of Yaoshi reaching into that particular abyss...they merely only ever fence it away with their blessings before one can fall in, after all.